“She died with an indescribable expression of horror and pain on her face.” – Please Read, Then Share

A recently received letter. Please read in its entirety. Then share.

October 28, 2019

Dear Patrick and Friends,

I say “friends” because I feel a united kinship with you and the regular commenters on HRW. I’ve followed HRW since its inception and I am grateful for the tracking you do on every death. Someone needs to remember the horses in a public way and, to me, the kill list reads like a memorial wall to their lives. They aren’t forgotten by everyone.

It is a shame that the owners and trainers and handlers don’t stand up for the horses. One need look no further than the horse racing “industry” to see the worst elements of human existence and the results of apathy and greed. Apathy begets greed. Greed is a hallmark of those without a soul.

I don’t want to reveal my identity or the identity of the TBs I will speak of here for fear of repercussion. I am long out of involvement directly with racing, but the names could alert people still involved. There are a lot of active racing folks who read HRW to find something to bitch amongst themselves about, to deride the information, to see if their names are mentioned there. I hope you understand.

I need very much to share the story of the horses whose names didn’t make it to the lists – private training track deaths, deaths on the farm. These beautiful beings were my friends; I’ve always been able to connect deeply with horses, to feel and understand their hearts and minds. For some time in my life, this made me valuable to the racing business. Horses were my greatest joy and the root of abject sorrow.

I treated horrific soft tissue injuries, helped the vet euthanize those too damaged to patch together anymore, consoled many who were beaten and terrified – so afraid that the sound of grain being poured into their feed bucket sent them bolting against the back of the stall, wild eyed. I have watched “trainers” whip and choke down young horses who were frightened and confused, and I’ve seen (like many of you have) horses keep running – because they were afraid to stop running – with horrific injuries. Yes, horses like to run, but no horse is born dreaming of being run at terror-response-level speeds in a circle.

The worst thing I’ve ever seen was a filly – let’s call her Miss Dee – not quite 18 months old, a magnificent blue-black with two socks and a white star and stripe on her face, gentle, fast, and compliant, in a speed trial under tack for the second time. That little girl was whipped to breakneck speed, and terrified, ran through the rail. She lost her rider but kept running, making a horrendous gasping. Then her guts fell out. She had eviscerated herself on the broken fence but…kept running.

She made it another 40 yards or so before she fell, a two-foot wide streak of purplish blood behind her. She staggered and made a final lunge forward, digging into the earth with her front hooves as she fell. She died with an indescribable expression of horror and pain on her face. It happened so quickly, yet years later, I can still see it and smell the blood.

Her entrails lay in a steaming heap where they fell. All was silent for some seconds as those watching looked on in shock. I went to her and slid the bridle off of her head and just kneeled there, unable to speak. I don’t know how long it was, but then I became aware of people moving around me, and someone telling me to go get a wheelbarrow and haul those guts to the manure pile. Somebody else had already started the tractor to go bury her. In 20 minutes, she was gone. Just gone. No marker for her grave, not even buried whole.

That day was the end of many things for me. It took me years to be able to even talk about that day and that poor baby. I couldn’t work around the horses anymore; although I am just about ready to adopt some of racing’s throwaways and give back to the horses, I feel like I will need the support of like-minded people. Her death broke me, too.

Recently, I drove past and saw that where her unmarked grave was, there is now a small pond and it made me angry and sad that even in death, she was not left in peace.

Please, please share her story if you feel it appropriate. There is not a day that goes by that I don’t think of her and how much she meant to me and how very little she meant to others who should have cared.

If you do share her story, please do not identify the state from which you received this letter. Thank you for caring about the horses. God bless you.


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  1. Thank you for sharing your story J. You are an inspiration to many for your courage and strength. I pray you find the peace you so deserve. And know this beautiful angel you loved is at peace in the love of Angels above. Truly heartbreaking to read, but to many it needed to be told. God bless you and everyone who truly loves this magnificent horses. ‘I thank my God upon every remembrance of you’ PHILIPPIANS 1:3 AMEN

  2. Thank you for sharing. I know it is painful to relive that horrible ending experience in the name to save others. I know there are many many more stories that reflect the pain and horror to these magnificent horses. Rest in Peace to all the horses that died like this (due to racing). They deserve so much better. They are safe on heaven now.

  3. I am terribly affected by this most recent story of an unnecessary and senseless death of this horse. The authors words made me weep for him and the horse he respected and cared for through her passing. It was a beautiful tribute to the severely damaged horse he could not save. The story has affected me profoundly but in reading the authors words, I know what the memories do to his heart each day. Thank you kind author for the incredible story of this horse who was much more to you than you could have ever imagined. May your memories empower your compassion and courage. Now your story is our story and we grieve with you.

  4. Though I appreciate the story and I’m sure there are horrific happenings daily in horseracing, failing to release a name does nothing to assist in the removal of horseracing. From a legal standpoint, your words are simply here-say.
    And being gone from the industry and still no identity is even more of a head scratcher. If you saw a woman get brutally murdered at work, would you years later, during your retirement, send a nameless letter to police?
    In 2017 my company, Sedgwick ,(20,000 employee U.S./Canadian/European Co.) was committing fraud so I contacted the IN Dept. Of Insurance with all my evidence. I was a whistleblower and no one liked me but guess what, I didn’t care. Why? Values. Within 2 months, all of upper management was terminated along with the VP. A 200k fine was placed against my employer and I knew I needed to leave, which I did.
    Mr. Nameless person, you have the ability to make an impact but yet you still bow down to the players of horseracing. Congrats.

      • I’ll kindly disagree with you as an anonymous name does nothing for OUR cause to end horseracing. It can be looked upon as simply fictional writing. Im glad we know the name of the creator of horseracingwrongs, and he lives near Saratoga track yet still presses on. Courage…..

    • Nice work.
      I filed a complaint with the USDA against Harris Ranch when I was a supplier to them.
      It was for 4D animals.
      USDA did a surprise visit and fined them.
      I received a death threat. We found, unequivocally, the officer of Harris who made the threat, and we had the shit beat our of him.
      They never did THAT again!
      Do the same if some clown from the HR industry threatens you.
      Leave their name here as well and we’ll arrange a dance with them.

    • John, I am sorry you feel the way you do about “J” needing to reveal his (or her) name. I think whistle blowers’ identities are protected by law. He ( or she) stated that they had fear of repercussions, not only for themselves but for others still working in the “industry.” “J” speaks as though he (or she) was working as a vet tech and probably experienced other traumas too numerous to count in addition to this poor filly’s demise. It is great what you did in your own situation, but please remember that not everyone may feel so empowered, depending on their circumstances.

    • I agree, the story is impactful and heartfelt with a firsthand knowledge of the lengths that the industry will go all for the love of money… and tossing such magnificence into a resolute pit of despair…. however sad the story… it is only hearsay without any evidence to come forth. The fact that the author has names of those still active is a shame not to share so that they can be outed for the depths of their cruelty. You can still remain anonymous and give names. Truths and Names need to be exposed not hidden.

    • I’m not sure if you’ve been around racing people John but I won’t leave my full name because, frankly, I fear for my own safety and the safety of my family. I know one person who had two legs broken, another whose horses were shot dead in the field, one whose vehicle was riddled with bullet holes. These are not the sanest of people.

    • John Negrete
      Whilst I appreciate your comments, could you give some feedback on what exactly could be done had the OP wished not to remain anonymous….would that have made a difference, and if so, how and what?
      Thanks in advance

  5. Just another reason to ban whipping! These horses are running as fast as they can, whipping is a scare tactic which tramatizes the horse, they make one wrong move, fall, die or have to be put down. It amazes me that jockey’s can’t sense this in their horses, just listen to the horse before and during the race!

    • They can sense it, the entire industry knows the cost.. which is exactly why they don’t care. Do you think these people would be racing horses if there was no money involved. Absolutely not.. to them the purse of racing in its entirety far outweighed the cruelty, and deaths. The horses are nothing more than a commodity!

  6. I truly do not feel that a name is needed to address the issues that were presented in his letter. To remain anonymous does not take away the brutal horror of what was experienced that day and is experienced almost daily by all of us who read these postings. The bottom line is we all know that horse racing is barbaric and in the end it means slaughter for these gorgeous race horses. The only point I wish to make is that I truly hope that your intention to adopt some of these race horses happens sooner than later my friend. I do understand that for many of us the ability to handle a situation as the one described would have been a life altering experience. I have been around horses that have passed away but nothing would compare to the trauma experienced by this poor filly and the person involved with her at the very end. Have some compassion people towards that author we all talk about the need to recognize the abuse within the horse racing industry so let’s be able to accept this author for his written word. We have yet to be able to stop this racing horror no matter how many postings we all do daily.

    • First, I live in a Chicago suburb and don’t have the resources to adopt horses, but it’d be different if I did.

      But I can tell you that whistleblowers(with a name) disclosing dates, trainers, owners, jockeys involved in horrific acts would ultimately lead to the demise of horseracing. Just one whistleblower started the investigation of our corrupt prez and one woman started the chain of woman that came forward against scumbag Weinstein. A few horses being adopted is noble but countless named people coming forward would have a greater effect. Overall, we live in a animal loving country and the majority of people lack the knowledge of continued horse suffering in this so called sport. Those identifiable people would refute the insiders that claim how much they love their horses and we could all hoist Patrick on our shoulders.

      The last sentence in your post (passive approach) yields defeat as you accept this is how it will always be. These horses try so hard to win a crappy race while injured, drugged, full of sadness/anxiety yet this is how it will always be according to you. Maybe you have a financial gain in this industry ?Given you stated there should be compassion for the unnamed author I guess we should bow our heads with compassion for the unnamed workers who toss deceased horses in a truck.

  7. Another story that had me crying. I simply can’t comprehend the callousness and cold indifference to the magnitude of terror and agony this little filly suffered before she had really even begun to live. Love their horses? Treat them like family? When was the last time you heard a parent call for a wheelbarrow to haul their deceased toddler to the septic tank for disposal? What kind of twisted psychotic individual actually fights to keep an industry like this going? I wish I knew this filly’s real name so I could honor her with the rest of the victims like she deserves.

  8. For some reason reading this brought a flood of memories…Oct. 2018 my Dad dies, Jan.3rd 2019 my Boston Terrier, 14 yrs. dies unexpectedly in the wee hours of the morning, in my arms. Loosing two loved ones so close apart…threw me for a loop that I’m still trying to work through. The BEST thing I did was ADOPT a 7yr old Rescue DOG, Miss Lily the Basset Hound,has Helped with the healing process. Animals are treasures,let’s do AWAY with animals being USED for entertainment.

  9. “It happens.”

    Everyone in racing, from backstretch worker, to veterinary professional, to top-level owner/breeder, knows this story — and others similar and equally gruesome — to be absolutely factual. Most have developed the telltale gallows humor that they use to cope with these horrors psychologically. So-called jokes abound within all industry facilities about racehorses’ seemingly steadfast determination to kill themselves. One doesn’t need to witness this personally (or even to look at a single photo of this kind of carnage) to know that it occurs regularly.

    It happens.

  10. Whoever wrote this is a coward.
    You write something you are seemingly passionate about yet don’t have the guts to write your name due to fear? Fear?!
    What are any of these pathetic fools or the corrupt cities that house them going to do? Nothing.
    Have a backbone man and take a stand.
    We do things against the HR industry every day, much of which hasn’t even surfaced yet due to the chronic nature of our potent proclivities.

    • I- thank you for coming forward. I wholeheartedly agree with you remaining anonymous. I understand. I heard and saw people IN the racing industry threaten and retaliate against each other for perceived wrongs, so I can only imagine the hell unleashed on someone who is actively opening up about their ugly secrets and going against their way of corrupt living!
      Thank you for being willing to share what you experienced, and I hope peace comes to you with the knowledge that you are now being a voice for that little filly.

      • I agree, Peggy. I have seen vicious retaliation for speaking up. If not physically, the ruination of lives through calculated smear campaigns or endless legal proceedings that usually the whistleblower cannot afford but the persecutors could. I know the psychological damage done to the good people who left the industry once their eyes were opened, those with a conscience and ethics who could not morally afford to keep secrets for the morally depraved. By the same token the bad folks close ranks and protect those who are just like themselves and those who have yet to overcome the conditioning–and in the same way that they use the horses for their own benefit they use people. Once something no longer benefits them they dispose of it, and that is how an industry or group ends up with nothing but sociopathic people in it and why things get worse instead of better.

  11. That doesn’t sound right. No one in the racing industry trains horses at speed at that age. They are just beginning to learn carry a rider at low speeds. I don’t doubt that the scenario could happen (with any kind of horse/rider combo) BUT it doesn’t seem realistic that it was done intentionally by someone training a racehorse.

    • Dave if you ask me the whole thing (horseracing ) is F’d up,it shouldn’t even exist. Even beginning train that young, has always been F’d up. They shouldn’t have even started training til at least age four,but even then just beginner real light stuff, but this idiocy shouldn’t even exist in the fuckin’ first place.

    • This scenario of too-young horses been intentionally driven at too-high speeds not only could happen, but DOES happen consistently in horse racing. Why do you think so many young horses have their limbs splinter and snap apart or simply drop dead during training? Why do you think their joints are nothing but shit by the time they’re five or six, if they even make it to that age? If a horse isn’t racing he isn’t earning, and as far as the racing industry is concerned, they’re the models of restraint waiting until a horse is 18 months old to begin training. If they could get away with throwing horses out on the track at six months old, they sure as hell would.

    • Please google 2 year old under tack shows and you will see that not only could it happen, it does happen. At OBS, at the Texas sale, and at other big sales. Even many within the industry don’t agree with them, but no one is willing to change it

      • Thank you, Peggy. And if that is not bad enough, many of these babies are pumped up on steroids – any kind of abuse as long as it has the potential to bring money.

    • Sure they do, Dave – Gary Contessa has/had a two-year-old Elusive Quality filly he wanted rid of – arthritic, both knees. She didn’t become broodmare material at TWO from romping around with her pastures-mates as babies her age should be doing.

      Additionally, I witnessed things I would have never believed racehorses endured during my years on the backside with the rescue. I had believed what the industry presented via the media – reality for racehorses is not that.

    • People take yearlings home from fall auctions and put them immediately into training all the time. In fact, a lot of two year olds born late race before they actually turn two.

  12. Boycott the races! Only this will end the mistreatment and horror these horses live and die as treated as worthless property, and not seen as loving, beautiful animals.
    Every one…..wake up and boycott then people will listen. The owners only see the horse as money. If you take that away they will move on.

  13. Drug abuse, injury, race fixing and careers that end in a slaughter house. Why do we continue to accept this as a sport? The horse racing industry is an affront to civil society. I am hopeful that it will continue to be exposed for the abomination that it truly is.

  14. I believe that all animals deserve to be treated with respect and kindness and compassion and men should not interfere with their natural habitat unless to help them. People are money greedy and unfortunately they use animals to fill their greed. All animals are innocent and God’s beautiful creatures. I wish I can physically and emotionally protect all animals big and small by having a protective bubble around them so that no one or anything can harm them. I wish those who cause pain and suffering towards animals be punished severely. I will all animals can have someone to love and care for them and to experience being hugged and cuddled and pure caring. I wish I am a superhero for all animals. I love all animals so much that I try to help animals big and small when I can. I feed the birds and squirrels around me, sign petitions and donate money when I can. Lord please have mercy on all animals and save them from pain and suffering especially caused by humans. I wish all animals can experience the same type and amount of love I gave to my three cats.

  15. An horrific story! What was the purpose of whipping the poor creature into a blind panic? Who on earth gains in any way from such brutal behaviour? Surely, this incident only illustrates the actions of a single psychopath and is not representative of the industry as a whole?

  16. What so many people in horse racing do these majestic animals is disgusting and they shoukd6 be prosecuted, but greed rules the day! If people would just stop suppiorting horse racing maybe the horses would have a chance or maybe people who actually care could be in charge-what a concept!!

  17. This is a heart wrenching story! I can no longer watch horse racing after reading this tragic story. I’m so sorry that you had to go through what you did. I hope more people in the horse industry come out with their stories and stop the terrible abuse that has been going on and treat these magnificent creatures with dignity and respect and to punish the people who think this is the way to treat these horses.

  18. Every time I read about such horrifying deaths, it makes me sick to my stomach. This one is especially heart wrenching. As a horse lover and owner who has only had companion horses for recreational riding, I have issues not only with the cruelties inherent in the racing industry, but also in other equine competitions. Those who only view these wonderful animals as commodities to be used and abused to “perform”, and not as the sentient beings that they are, are soulless monsters. And any rider who would whip a horse, especially a baby, into a terror-driven run deserves whatever injuries they may have suffered themselves.

  19. Thanks for sharing this heart wrenching account because of this loathsome insidious industry. I can hardly read this screen for tears. I can’t even imagine the anguish & pain of the author recounting this horrifying spectacle. Evil greed has murdered thousands of young healthy horses over many years with no one to help them. Yes there are many of us out here shouting out against this but in the end the powers, that means from he top, governments past & present that can change things – won’t. All manner of evil comes from the lust for money.

  20. Tragic …. that a young innocent horse’s life ended so horrendously.
    These young horses are pushed to the limit way before they are fully developed.
    Money – the root of all evil. This young horse met evil in all of the people involved in her short life. No one spoke up. Until now.
    The memory, of this beautiful young horse, and the cruelty she endured in the racing world is shameful and those involved should be charged with animal cruelty – all of them. Jail time!

  21. Horse racing is a cruel sport that needs to be stopped! These beautiful animals don’t deserve such horrible treatment!!

  22. You are so right! It is not possible to read about this fully without shedding tears! I wish I could afford to help in some way, but I am on a fixed income and live day-to-day myself.

  23. Nothing would surprise me anymore. These lying “horse people” can’t even be bothered to install fire sprinklers in horse stables. We ban dog fighting, but allow many, many other horrific forms of animal abuse – from trapping, hounding, coyote whacking (with vehicles), wildlife killing contests, and horse racing. Because the horses are beautiful and the owners are rich, we think there is something noble about racing. There is nothing but filth involved. The people who need to read this letter are in state legislatures and executive offices. Then they need to ban horse racing once and for all. End of story.

  24. I hate it, when these horses are used in such a despicable manner, Do we know anything about the phrase, “be kind to dumb animals?” This country must, wake up!

  25. I sit here weeping thinking of the untold agony of this poor filly. It is disgraceful such beautiful animals are treated so badly in the name of sport

  26. When you read the necropsies that are published periodically on HRW, it is astounding and emotionally painful to absorb the extent of severe damage to muscle, tissue, bone and organs that each of these magnificent animals has endured throughout their short lives. The list of damage to the bodies is extraordinary. The necropsy reports are a testament to the fact that these animals are tortured throughout their racing lives. No animal deserves to suffer this way. Senator Feinstein and Gavin Newsome recently voiced support for legislation to end horseracing in California. Everyone who supports HRW nationwide should support California’s efforts to become the first state to ban horseracing in the hopes that other states will follow suit.

  27. Pieces of shit!!!! All of them!!! I have been saying this for years!!! Horse racing and ANY animal racing is criminal. I feel we should take their children strape them up and race them,that’s the owners,riders,trainers and most if all spectators. I wound how they would feel if it was there children being treated this way. Our worthless GOVERNMENT ALLOWS these tragities to continue. I have ABSOLUTLY NO FAITH IN OUR GOVERNMENT,LAW ENFORCEMENT AND JUDICAL SYSTEM they that run these facilities are cowards! Step up do your jobs stop these horrific atrosities. These are BEAUTIFUL, LIVING,BREATHING FEELING BEINGS THAT LIVE ON THIS PLANET WITH US!!! THEY DESERVER OUR PROTECTION THEY ARE INNOCENT AND BRUTILIZES AT COWARDS HANDS!!!

  28. It’s the same everywhere – woe to the animals that bring profit, they are mostly mercilessly exploited and the last is squeezed out of them. No matter how! Humanity… – maybe humanity means: mindlessness, indifference, ruthlessness, brutality, cruelty and above all greed. Unfortunately is the biggest tragedy that the animals are helpless and at our mercy…

  29. Thank you for sharing your story. I am a horse owner and I ride for pleasure. I have a retired 17 year old pasture ornament that I love despite the cost of maintaining him. It never ceases to amaze me how ignorant people are to the plight of the horse. If only they knew how many were sent to slaughter each year due to back yard breeding & simply those who are not useful anymore. I know I could never work at a track, I’ve heard of many horrors but I am glad you are getting back with horses again. Even if you help just one you are making a huge difference. Thank you!

  30. Describing other people as ‘pieces of shit’ and ‘evil monsters’ etc misses the point. People who are cruel to animals or are insensitive to an animal’s suffering are still human beings like you and me. It’s just that they have been produced by a brutal environment and ‘we’, as compassionate, sensitive people are very lucky not to have been raised in a culture or environment where our natural compassion has been obliterated by a sort of ‘wallpaper’ of brutality. It is these cultures or environments we should be opposing, not the poor, unfortunate humans who have endured such a culture or environment of brutality. IMHO,brutality is closely related to poverty and lack of education and it is those twin evils – factories of insensitivity and cruelty we should should direct our criticisms and outrage towards. I understand your outrage but I think your aim is a little wide of the mark. Best wishes to you. We are, all of us, products of our respective environments.

    • David I think the trainers,veterinarians, and such types DO know better. WHY are you giving them a pass??????

      • With respect, Bonnie, I give no cruelty ‘a pass’, not even the so called ‘natural’ cruelty inherent in nature itself. I think all suffering is disgusting and I am appalled and horrified by all of it. I think any conscious creature has the same ‘sense of self’, the same or very similar sense of ‘I’ as you and I do. I think it is the duty of intelligent, sentient life to exercise their capacity for compassion and empathy and kindness and that people who act as insensitive beasts are in some way damaged by the cruelty and suffering they inflict on creatures – think of those gammon-faced, insensitive slaughterhouse workers. It’s sometimes hard to remember that they themselves are victims of a cruel and insensitive world. Evolution, it seems to me, is a grotesque nightmare from which we cannot awake. I am appalled by nature documentaries and ‘naturalists’ like David Attenborough who seem to glory in the thrills and spills of predator vs prey exclaiming ‘extraordinary!’ at every grotesque spectacle they encounter. Suffering and cruelty is far from ‘extraordinary’, it’s actually, very ordinary and in fact ‘par for the course’ in evolution. I hope that PETA and its members such as yourself can convince the rest of the population that, ‘it doesn’t have to be like this’. Best wishes to you.

    • David – I agree with you, and I completely understand what you are saying.
      I’m not sure what you’ve been through, but even when I was a supporter of this business I was constantly called a “cheating whore,” constantly attacked, and I could write a book as to what they did to me.
      They maliciously conducted a smear campaign against me, but the real viciousness was reserved for after I left, when I was no longer filling races for them.
      The details are so unbelievable that people wouldn’t believe me.
      They did everything they could to ruin my life, and they were effective in many ways.
      This is not unlike people getting jailed and/or killed fighting climate change.
      These are powerful people, with endless money, who will go to no lengths to get their billions in profits, including taxpayers money, while the rest of us suffer.
      I try to remain civilized for the most part knowing that it’s easy to stoop down to their vile level, but there are times where I’ve said horrible things just because I don’t think they deserve civility or respect.
      To me, that needs to be earned and this business, excluding what they’ve done to me, are full of parasites who think nothing of ruining racehorse and people’s lives with malice intention.
      Do they deserve my civility and respect?
      I say no, but I do for the most part just try to be a voice for the racehorses, educate people from a prior insiders point of view and that’s my focus although I have no problem calling them out for what they are:
      parasites who live off the avails of thousands of voiceless, defenseless victims in order to make billions in profit.
      Furthermore, they steal precious taxpayers money and casino profits away from out communities.
      Another thing often overlooked is the environmental damage of horse racing including a total waste of precious water just to put on their tracks so that racehorses can run in circles getting beaten while California residents are limited to water use for most of the year.
      From start to finish and after the finish line this business is an evil abyss of total waste.
      I make no apologies from my diversion of civility as some would see it, but I sometimes see it otherwise.

      • Gina I get that you are angry and you have every right to be. I cannot imagine what you have been through. I feel your pain in every post. Maybe I am alone in the way I feel, but I just don’t think positive change can come from negative energy. That’s all I am trying to convey. I am so sorry for everything you have been through.

    • Thank you David. If there was no chance of redemption then why bother to change? Isn’t change what we are hoping for? Keep convincing people they are “pieces of shit” and they will very likely act accordingly.

      • ELIZABETH — you write about “negative energy?” — what do you mean? — NEXT: what would YOU suggest in doing to Help Race Horses?

      • Some people are pieces of shit. It is dangerous to assume that everyone is the same and make excuses for them. David, cruelty cannot be blamed on poverty, a cruel and insensitive world, or anything else we try using as an excuse for the truly bad people’s behavior. Normal people tend to try finding excuses for aberrant personalities for their own understanding of how anyone could be that way.

      • Elizabeth, lots of positive things have come out of my sole determination to make it better for the racehorses.
        I don’t classify this as negative energy, but if you feel that way conjure up a good dose of positive energy so you can rescue a whole lot of racehorses, like I did, and shout out at the top of your lungs to anybody who will listen about this vile business and what is going on in it.
        The only change acceptable to me is to BAN horse racing, shut it down and if people want to label me as “negative energy” or whatever the hell else – have at it because I don’t give a damn what anybody thinks of me.
        I’m way past that.
        I just care about focusing on the racehorses and doing anything I can to educate and to shut down this killing show because a racehorse writhing in the dirt from snapped-off joints and legs is purely negative.
        It don’t get much worse than that.

      • Mssm8822. No other suggestions then what Patrick is doing which is providing information without hate and hysteria. That is why he has had so much success. The negative energy I am referring to is being called a subhuman, scumbag (not you Gina!) for being a wide eyed, horse crazy little girl who went to Saratoga once a year as a kid with my parents and watched the big races on tv. Apparently it took me longer then it should have to realize the images I had fallen in love with had a very dark reality.

    • In general you make a good point (nature/nurture). However, despite bad circumstances many people are compassionate and kind. Conversely, many individuals are indifferent and even cruel despite their advantages in life.
      As an example, Buck Brannaman, who, despite an abusive childhood, went on to become a compassionate, kind adult capable of transforming the lives of horses and people.. No matter what our circumstance in life are we still make choices. I disagree with the blanket “excuse” of victimhood.

      • There is a vast difference in people who have been traumatized by adverse circumstances or events and those who suffer from ‘scars’ that never had a wound. The latter are born absent the emotional quotient that normal people possess but understand that they are lacking and will use a good person’s empathy and compassion against them manipulatively. Projecting one’s own good qualities onto others is how that happens. Bad people have no qualms about claiming victim status for attention and as an excuse for their behavior.

  31. I am honored to be part of this amazing group of people putting our best foot forward towards what seems like a very difficult task- to STOP horse racing!! I have to admit… tears were flowing so heavily down my face that I could not read J’s story in its entirety but I do know how it ends…My heart is broken!
    What happened to kindness, love and respect for these wonderful beings and athletes? I firmly believe judgement day will come for these horrific “humans” if all of us keep pushing through and don’t give up on our horses. I understand J’s desire to remain anonymous but I also agree names need to be spilled in order to make a difference. I recently watched a very interesting show. They were interviewing a seasoned female equine vet horse who simply could no longer take the abuse on horses in the US and moved to Europe where she is now looking after horses just outside of Paris, France. Her stories were just horrifying; she would tell the owners and trainers when horses should not be raced due to an injury but they never listened. She mentioned how a horse is not fully developed until the age of 4 (or 5 sorry this detail I cannot remember exactly) yet they are racing 1 year olds. The amounts of drugs and pain meds that go into our horses is just unimaginable. Yes, accidents do happen but in Europe, where, according to her, those drugs are banned, they happen very, very rarely. Perhaps the soulless trainers, owners and jockeys here should take a look at how things are done across the pond! I cannot believe there is no regulatory horse racing body whose mission should be to STOP the insanity that is called horse racing in North America! I grieve and weep with all of you! Let’s keep pushing through and help our amazing horses!

  32. Thank you for sharing Patrick. Without you, most of us would never know the horror of this illegal industry.

  33. While I was looking over one of our first slaughterhouse video tapes acquired from Richelieu, Quebec, Canada, via a former employee, it was so horrifying that some of us had to continually pause the tape just to sob.
    You wan’t to see horrifying?
    Then take a look at those racehorse’s faces while they are standing in the slaughter chute, waiting for their turn to die and they know they are going to die.
    The horror is on their faces right up until they shoot them in the head, and usually must repeatedly shoot them in the head due to the physical location of their brain unlike other livestock that this process is designed for.
    Then we begin to browse the glossy pages of “The Blood Horse” a far cry from what exactly happens to most racehorses when they are so crippled that they can’t flip a buck anymore.
    There on the front page boasting about billion-dollar sales and wagering profits, showing the yearlings going through the sales ring, the elite clamoring to spend $100,000 or more on a Derby prospect knowing that their fate is horrific for about 90% of them.
    Most racehorses die in absolute anonymity, but we know they die, and the employees are too busy killing them to get tattoos.
    However, this employee lifted one lip and got the tattoo – her name was FEATHERS.
    We immediately went to Equibase to see just who FEATHERS was.
    FEATHERS, as it turns out, was a multi-stakes winner of over $547,000 running mostly at Woodbine Racetrack in Toronto and at other tracks as well.
    Trained by Ralph Biamonte, boy could I tell you stories about this parasite, including dumping a multi-stakes winner DON’T SEVEN UP without any remorse, Ralph dumps these racehorses even though he has a farm, whose paddocks are usually empty.
    A callous slime ball parasite like most of them.
    Anyways, whatever happened to FEATHERS after running her butt-off for this piece of scum with her last race on 11/20/2002 and then ending up in the slaughterhouse 15 years later we will never know.
    They often refer to tracks like Woodbine as “premier” racing destinations, but they are not “premier” destinations for the racehorses whose main destination is bleeding out on the slaughterhouse floor.
    The disposal of their gambling chips requires the slaughterhouse and this vile business requires an astounding number of gambling chips, the racehorses, to fill races for them with no intentions of taking care of them after they are finished exploiting them, but the exploitation doesn’t even end in their death because we have information that pro-horse racing entities actually own or have a financial interest in the slaughterhouses.
    Belinda Stronach’s daughter, Nicole Walker, supposedly owns a cattle processing, slaughterhouse, plant and through some detailed convoluted paperwork it seems that she may have ownership in some horse slaughterhouses as well.
    A former employee of Adena Springs, their horse racing arm in Newmarket, Ontario, Canada paints a picture of a super wealthy spoiled rotten brat who uses, abuses, and dumps horses for her personal ego.
    Evidently, her money and influence has been buying her ribbons and awards at show jumping shows.
    In fact, in The Toronto Star article on November 12, 2019 they finally caught her and this time her money didn’t buy her ribbon “Belinda Stronach’s daughter Nicole Walker suspended for positive Pan Am Games drug test in show jumping – just like her grandfather who allegedly bought most of his winning races at Woodbine.
    I suppose it runs in the family.
    She tested positive for a metabolite of “cocaine” nice girl giving her horse some cocaine.
    The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree – does it?

    • Follow-up: Well it appears that Nikki’s money and influence is falling back on the true and tried defense of “food contamination” only this time it’s in the “tea leaves.”
      Her millionaire father, Don Walker, who is a CEO of Magna Auto parts, with their legal counsel, has put forth a defense that “cocaine” leaves are in the tea bags and, guess what?
      Nikki drinks lots of tea since she’s not a coffee drinker according to this article.
      Of course her Mom, Belinda Stronach, owner of Santa Anita Racetrack runs to her defense as well as any Mother would.
      This is no different than super wealthy people buying their way into elite universities while other middle class people work their butts-off to get their marks and to get a fair chance at a good education or a fair chance of winning a horse race or horse event.
      Anyways, my life became a living hell in Ontario when I exposed this horse racing business and all their dirty little secrets.
      I was up against these types of people, endless money, power and influence over anybody including the police force who continually harassed me and it coincided with my participation on this site.
      I will not use this site to get into what I’ve been through, but they have done just about everything to silence me including detailed schemes to “entrap” me and throw me in jail.
      This business is an evil abyss full of evil, morally bankrupt parasites who will do just about anything to keep killing racehorses for their money and egos.
      I’ve suffered greatly and continue to suffer, but it’s the racehorses who pay the ultimate price.

  34. So, veterinarians and trainers,who are totally complicit,because they are part of the “system”were all raised in the type of conditions you are sighting,that leads to brutality? When you choose to be in this industry,which the animals don’t have a choice…..complicity is just as bad. So, we can respectfully disagree with others. Everyone has a Right to their opinions.

  35. OMG — HOW could anyone think this is OK — this is so beyond cruelly depraved … — SHUT DOWN HORSE-RACING — FOREVER

  36. “It began with Psychedelicat, a horse that would have remained unremarkable for the rest of his life were it not for the precise timing of his death.” (taken from Wired). This is what the racing industry and its supporters think of the animals that give their lives for its very existence. They become an inconvenience when they draw attention to the disgusting death toll. If you can see a horse disembowel herself and your first thought is to get a wheelbarrow to clean up her guts, then you are a flawed human being. There’s no magic formula for acknowledging that a horse’s leg snapping completely off is WRONG. I have no empathy for anyone who abuses an animal because there is no excuse, regardless of circumstances, especially in the racing industry. I’m so tired of hearing people whine that they just can’t leave because of money or a million other reasons. If your values aren’t worth making a stand for then they’re not worth having.

  37. David why would you say I’m a member of PETA. I’m not a member of Anything. I’m proud of the FACT I’m not even on social media…NOTHING!!!!!!!You dear sir have still not Addressed my Question…what about the trainers and vets????????? Don’t assume things about people,I do though want an answer to my QUESTION

    • And why is PETA the first thing that comes to mind when anyone speaks out against animal abuse? It’s not like they have the best track record for standing against exploitation and abuse. The only reason they’re making any sort of appearance now is because they want to ride the publicity train.

      • PETA is used by many in the derogatory sense because they view PETA as an extremist organization with “strange” ideas. So when someone says you subscribe to PETA it tells one more about that person in terms of their views than they realize – they do not have a lot of trouble with how animals are treated because after all they are just animals!!!

      • Aside from all the psycho-babble I make things very simple.
        There are 2 types of people on this planet.
        1. Those who create a mess 2. Those who clean it up.
        The ones in category 1 are almost always motivated by greed just take a look at our planet and what’s going on.
        Animals on all fronts are under siege because they are the easiest to turn into profit slaves.
        Racehorses are just that and the people who exploit them fall into category 1.
        Simple works fine for me.
        I don’t need any sympathy or empathy.
        I made my choices.
        I’n not the victim – the racehorses are the voiceless victims, which is precisely why I speak out on their behalf.

  38. Totally horrible that poor baby just reading it traumatizing me what is wrong horse racing the worst these poor babies r-run to their deaths sickening people they don’t care as long as they make big money well I’m going to tell you you’re sick people horrible people you murder innocent horses sickening sickening I hate you all these races need to stop now

    • You may ‘try to make things simple’ but it’s not all about you and simplicity. It’s a complex world and you just have to deal with that and try hard to understand complex issues. Expressions of outrage and insults only lead to an alienation of the people you need to communicate with in order to help racehorses or other cruelly exploited creatures and convince them of the worthiness of our cause. I haven’t eaten even a scrap of any meat for the last 25 years because I regard even the concept of a ‘slaughterhouse’ an utter obscenity but I do not insult the carnivorous, I prefer to try to educate and have had some success by this method. By befriending people and trying to understand what drives them, I can get into a position where I can, as it were, ‘hack’ their brains and change their views. We must have confidence in knowing we are right and we must control our impulsive expressions of outrage because those expressions are often counterproductive. Best wishes to you. I’m glad that you agree that it doesn’t have to be like this.

      • You misunderstand the issue David, it is entirely different from eating meat. There is no need to convince anyone in racing of anything, they already know they are exploiting animals for profit, greed is the motive, racing can not change internally. The overwhelming majority of the public, given the opportunity, would vote to ban racing tomorrow just as voters in Florida voted overwhelmingly to ban dog racing. Racing without government subsidy is a dead industry, attendance is pitiful, takeout is insufficient to pay purses, much less contribute to infrastructure. The only people you have to convince of anything is the politicians who take lobbying money from the racing industry to continue subsidizing this horror show, they are the ones who might not understand what actually goes on at the track. Your argument is somewhat akin to convincing bank robbers not to rob banks. We, as a society, don’t do that. We make it a crime to rob banks and incarcerate those who commit such crimes in order to protect the public because the overwhelming majority believes that we should not allow such behavior. Society does not function by trying to convince people to be nice, it lays ground rules for acceptable behavior and removes from society those who can not abide by the rules. Correct me if I’m wrong but I suspect you haven’t been involved in the racing industry. You appear to believe that those involved in racing don’t already know what they are doing is wrong and just convincing them of that fact will change something. That is incorrect, people do heinous things for money. Take away the money and racing disappears.

        • Even though I have have absolutely nothing to with either horse racing or abattoirs, I do not think I ‘misunderstand the issue’ which I think has to do with a lack sensitivity, a lack of imagination, an absence of compassion and kindness – those human traits which I think should be encouraged and rewarded in our society instead of encouraging the Darwinian nightmare where the strongest, the biggest, the most ‘rich’, the most ruthless, the best fitting to our hard, cruel environment and the most efficient are the winners who take all. I think the basic system of life itself teaches lessons in brutality which we’d all do far better to forget, or ‘unlearn’. ‘Nature’, the word itself a strange and perverted kind of euphemism for ‘extreme cruelty’ is, I think, profoundly misunderstood by all of us. We may be the most intelligent species to have existed on this planet but we are, compared to our environment – the 13.8 billion year old universe, still very young and we are, subjectively speaking, flawed deeply in so many ways. I wish you well and sincerely, thank you very much for directing your energies into caring for other forms of life. I hope your days are sprinkled with happy surprises :)

      • Alan…thank you…exactly…right on…AMEN…you hit the nail on the head.

        Just want to leave a comment from the PR article about Feinstein getting behind the HIA – copied and pasted in its entirety…

        “Well must say I’m tired of all the b.s. on all this let’s fix racing. It’s all about drug abuse or dope what ever you wanna call it. The answer is easy. Zero tolerance. And that’s that. 90% of trainers abuse the drugs and the vets just keep giving them. I trained for 30 years and watched the business go down. And I will say my hands are dirty. And believe me all trainers know what there doing and it makes them uneasy when your lame horse goes in the gate and you know what you have done to get them there. They know your risking human lifes as well as horses. They or we know. Nobody stands up and says anything no trainer speaks up because there dirty it’s easy unless you own and train your own horses you lose your client’s and stalls and lively hood. Some big wings gotta stand up and say enough is enough. Of we will be just like the dogs. Done.”

      • It’s never been about me I would think that would be obvious to people who follow my comments herein.
        What I’ve repeatedly commented on is the fact that racehorses are voiceless victims caught up in a deep corruption state of questionable government partnerships to provide billions in taxpayers/casino money.
        No dollars of these millions are put aside, on a mandatory basis, for either racehorse health, welfare, protection from abuse, and/or aftercare.
        It seems clear that the racehorses are not on their priority list as they are doped and beaten to perform, than subsequently dumped, for the most part, while handsome handouts continue with little government oversight just the way the ‘”horsemen” groups want it.
        Instead of the billions in support to the horse racing industry changing things for the betterment of the racehorses, which was originally promoted, it’s resulted in obscene cruelty, abuse, and inhumane treatment of racehorses as they are in forced servitude to their profit masters.
        Here was a perfect opportunity for “horseman” who claim to love their racehorses like “family members” to take care of them and now they had the money to do it unlike in previous years where the lack of money was the excuse of the day to take care of the racehorses whom they exploit and dump for profit.
        These “deals” are made without the input of our constituents, our communities or those taxpaying residents who are greatly affected by these “sweet deals” handed out to a dying business.
        The billions in handouts directly affect our education systems, the children within them, and community infrastructure programs such as roads and bridges.
        If this money was put to these community projects than local and state government coffers would not be on the verge of bankruptcy as many are now.
        In that realm, I provide direct experience including names of tracks and other pro-horse racing entities that have intentionally and maliciously harmed me and my life including my ability to make a living.
        This intimidation and harassment seems to a tactic to silence me.
        It obviously hasn’t worked, but as I’ve pointed out it’s affected me, but it’s the racehorses who are the true victims here – not me, and I always place the racehorses above me.
        Otherwise, I wouldn’t find myself in the predicament that I’m currently in as a direct result of me blowing the whistle on the many nefarious activities of horse racing.
        This seems relatively simple to comprehend for even you David.
        The common thread weaves in and out, but it’s always within the context of corruption and direct examples of this include not paying stable staff, not complying with government contracts whereby stable area improvements clauses were either never met or not met at all while the sweet deals continued, conducting smear campaigns on people who truly wanted change, who tried hard to change the system for the better such as myself and I wasn’t the only one they cleared out of the way, the same trainers monopolizing the system and purse money while repeatedly getting off from serious doping charges and,, of course, the racehorses paid the ultimate price by being a mere gambling pawn within this corruption.
        That was obvious when I served, however briefly, as an Associate Steward on the CHRB at the Del Mar meet.
        It was there that my nightmares about the abusive practices on racehorses were realized including rampant use of shock wave therapy on racehorses who had issues ranging from minor to major.
        The major issues were wide in scope, but dictated that racehorses in most categories should not be permitted to run, should be taken off the track, rested, and/or never returned to the track.
        Instead, these racehorses were doped up with multiple joint injections, injections into their muscles, and even their spine which was then followed by intense shock wave therapy sessions.
        This served the sole purpose of masking pain knowing that those racehorses had pre-existing conditions, and making the choice to send out a racehorse at risk of career-ending or catastrophic injury to flip a buck for everybody who didn’t give a damn about them and who had no intention of taking care of them after they were done maiming them and knowingly risking their life for another $2 bet.
        As an aside, even though jockeys have a choice they were at risk too so both racehorses and human beings were being put at high risk of permanent damage and/or dying.
        Of course facts prove that it’s the racehorse that is on the losing end much more than any jockey.
        They are also on the other end of a stick repeatedly beating them to perform with, more likely, painful pre-existing conditions that put them at high risk of death.
        These considerations are obviously not a concern for the horse racing people who send them out to, more or less, die as we saw with Mongolian Groom and the videos leading up to the race clearly show a racehorse who is favoring his rear ankle the one that snapped-off in the Breeders Cup.
        However, the horse racing industry and the “horsemen” groups ensure that the doping/vet records are kept secret, away from public view, and are rarely exposed even when a racehorse dies.
        It’s these secret records that are conducted by their PRIVATE vet that usually tell the story leading up to the death of a racehorse, most notably, repeated injections and shock wave therapy to a joint that they know has pre-existing conditions.
        We saw this with Doug O’Neill’s I’LL HAVE ANOTHER when, in New York, they weren’t able to get away with the treatments that they were getting away with in California and was forced to scratch the horse.
        Of course they spun this situation by saying it was an altruistic measure when nothing could be further from the truth especially given the death list under trainer Doug O’Neill.
        Nevertheless I immediately raised the doping and shock wave therapy concerns with my direct supervisor Ingrid Fermin and it was in writing.
        Since I was posted at Santa Anita following the Del Mar meet as a Steward “in the stand” I contacted security at Santa Anita to request a meeting to organize and implement a security detail for addressing the rampant use of shock wave therapy and drugs to which I received a response a few days later.
        My sole intention was to prevent other racehorses from dying and jockeys too.
        I got a sudden call from Ingrid Fermin informing me that Santa Anita “management” didn’t want me in the stand there and, in fact, they were on orders from Mr. Stronach to BAN me from entering the grounds at Santa Anita.
        i was absolutely shocked (pardon the pun) that this man could dictate to a government paid employee whose supposed to be neutral with the sole purpose of curtaining and preventing cheating to create a fair playing field (which was a common complaint from small stables) and to protect the racehorse from further injury.
        On average, Santa Anita has a dismal record of 50 dead racehorses and I would argue that it’s a direct result of years and years of pro-horse racing entities (especially those top trainers and their respective connections) pushing back hard on any changes that would benefit the racehorses.
        They enjoy the luxury of operating with total impunity with little to no government oversight and they also laugh often at government employees that have no knowledge of horses and horsemanship.
        They are a sub-culture onto themselves and they want to self police and they even go so far, even presently, to justify racehorses dying for this vile business and expect people to accept this.
        Well I’m not and neither should anybody else.
        I suspect that this lengthy comment should clear up any suspicions of me being “negative” as I’m merely relating the facts as I directly experienced them.
        Of course the apologists count on the silence of racehorses and they don’t like it when somebody speaks on their behalf which is my main purpose of commenting and supporting the stance of HRW.

  39. The whole race horsing industry is all about GREEDY and Satan. The owners, riders and trainers in my eyes only deserve one thing to rote in hell to burn for eternity.
    It was so hard to read your story but I did and it made me so sick to my stomach and so angry. The treatment of these beautiful animals just for money is unconscionable and all involved only deserve to die and die a VERY PAINFUL DEATH this all has to stop and stop now. I am angry and hate any and all that abuse, use and torture any animal in anyway.

  40. Thank you so much for sharing your story. It breaks my heart that you had to witness that and the response by others who simply didn’t care. God bless you for caring for the castaways.

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